What a man is..

Article from an inmate : http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/

As I was reading this article, I had second thoughts on whether this was actually a letter of an inmate; it seemed more like those articles that give advices for men to be successful in relationships. Even so, it really touched me that all the points written in this article is true and spot-on, and were actually realized by an inmate when he is doing his time.

I completely agree with the inmate; why do people only change when something dramatic happens in their life? Why can't they just admit that they were wrong and change to be better without the need of a dramatic event? Even though the latter seems to be the better option, most of us only do change when something finally happens; usually a traumatic experience.

It is difficult to change. No matter what type of change it may be; finally eating your greens or finally managing your anger, it all requires a huge amount of innovation and emotional strength, where we most often lack off. I myself would admit that I still have bad habits that I would like to change, but changing just the very next second is not humanly possible.



Even so, I still do believe change is not easy, but possible. It WILL require a lot of emotional strength and support, and it also requires a lot of our effort as well. Truth be told, if we have the intentions to change and try our very best to do so, He will help us along the way. We should never give up on trying to improve ourselves even though sometimes it takes years for us to achieve what we want. We will never know that maybe, on the 99th day of our effort we gave up, when He will actually grant our wish to change on the 100th day. So we should never give up trying, never give up hoping, and have faith in Him :)

I could go on and on describing about recognizing what women wants from a man. But I could simply say that men also have fairly similar needs from women; attention, trust and love.

However, I would agree with what the inmate has mentioned; regarding what he has learned about what women wants from men, mostly from the video. As we have watched in class, music videos show the wrong idea of women only wanting sex and money from men, and that they enjoy being treated as a sex object within the videos when the reality is the direct opposite. Newspapers, magazines, televisions and films are doing the same exact thing to our society as well. Men are always portrayed to be the stronger and more masculine figure, while women are more feminine, submissive and passive.

Now, there are exceptions to these claims where in some films, women are the 'heroes' and saves the day. But you could almost always find both genders more in their traditional roles and gender stereotypes.
Once again, it is hard for the media to CHANGE to portray the reality of life unless they would see it to be profitable. Even so, there is still hope that one day all of these would change for the better, with people who are becoming more aware of our surroundings.



Changing, will never be easy. The important people around us could sometimes even be the main reason why it is so hard for us to change, as well as the society. Our friends would sometimes critisize us: "He/She is a horrible person!". And when we finally do change, the same people would give discouraging comments: "He/She is just putting up an act. Remember how he/she was before?"

I hope that everyone would realize that in this world, we could NEVER satisfy everyone. If you would want to change, do it for yourself, for your loved ones that supports you, and for Him. If you set your goals on changing to satisfy everyone, you will never find yourself be able to change completely, or perhaps if you do change, you will never be happy. Do it for yourself, for your loved ones who supports you, and for Him. As only these people and God will be able to see the change in you :)


Learn from the past, do your best in the present, for the better future. Don't judge a person based on his or her past, but judge based on what he or she is doing and has become. Spread the love, as we do not have time to hate :)

Advertising Images of Women

Killing Us Softly-Advertising Images of Women by Jean Kilbourne.

This video shows the reality of our media that uses advertisements more than just simply to sell their product. It also sells values and ideas. Sex and violence. Women are constantly degraded in advertisements, magazines, movies and in television, and we do not realize it.

Please watch the videos, as they are really filled with important messages and it will definitely open our eyes. Share this with your loved ones (both boys n girls!),

To all the ladies out there, you are all BEAUTIFUL :) Do not let the media tell us what beauty is, and do not let ourselves go after the beauty that does not even exist! (photoshop pictures, skinny models that really only exist about 5% of women in this world ;) )










(Al-Mulk- 29:23)
Say (unto them, O Muhammad): He it is who gave you being, and hath assigned unto you ears and eyes and hearts. Small thanks give ye!
Katakanlah: "Dia-lah yang menciptakan kamu dan menjadikan bagi kamu pendengaran, penglihatan dan hati". (tetapi) amat sedikit kamu bersyukur.

Smoga kita tergolong di antara orang2 yg bersyukur :) amin!

Sociology of Love

This song is definitely funny, but at the same time, some might think this guy is a horrible husband. Even so, like what Sam has said in class, this guy brilliantly incorporated all the sociology of love.

From class, we have learned that we are living our lives heavily influenced by these many many invisible strings; our culture, our religion, our family and our environment. Love is not an exception to these invisible strings.

We might think that we are free to choose our life partner, or that when we see a certain someone and we simply know that he or she is 'the one'. However, it is not entirely due to fate that makes our heart beats faster when we see him or her. It is actually the invisible strings tightening upon us, that is making us attracted more to certain people than others.

We are more inclined to homogamy; where we are inclined to be married to people who are very similar to us. It is true that opposite attracts, but it is logical to think that more people on average get married to people who share things in common; religion, values and beliefs.

Due to this, we will automatically be more attracted to people who we are familiar with, and people who we share common grounds or interests. Take our parents for example, as the people who we grew up with and has a huge influence in our life. More people are inclined to marry the person who shares similar traits with their mother (if they are male) or their father (if they are female). Brothers and sisters would have a higher probability to marry someone that has similar characteristics to their siblings as well. These are all the 'invisible strings' that are at work even when, believe it or not, we 'fall' in love.

It is sad to know that the 'invisible strings' could sometimes really influence us heavily without us noticing it. Sam has mentioned in class that even though some children might have abusive fathers or mothers, and they would even swear that they would never marry someone like their parent, the 'invisible strings' would still be at work: these children will be MORE INCLINED and ATTRACTED to people who are indeed abusive!

I couldn't believe what he was saying at the beginning, but when Sam asked whether we knew anyone who has abusive boyfriends, and whether that person is still staying with that abusive partner despite being beaten up so many times, people did raise their hands in class. Knowing an abusive person myself, made me sad about this fact.

Even so, learning this part of sociology actually strengthens my faith in my religion.
Based on this song that says that there are many other women that would be equal or better than the singer's wife, it actually strengthens the validity of this verse of the Qur'an (24:26):

"Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision."

Homogamy and the invisible strings fits into this verse; we will attract people who are similar to us (good for good, bad for bad), and we are also more inclined to be attracted to people who have the same characteristics as the people who have a huge influence in our bad.
It is up to us to be able to pull back these strings, and to be able to recognize which string we should cut off (i.e. the abusive partners).

Hence, the verse perfectly brings the message in this song and in the sociology of love; there is not only ONE person in this world that could be our potential life partner.

'If I didn't have you, someone else will surely do.'

And Allah knows best. ;) <3

Cantik?

Semoga kita bersyukur dengan kecantikan yang Allah sudah kurniakan kepada kita, dan bknnya terpedaya dgn 'kecantikan' yang didefinisi oleh media.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and so are you :)

Pregnant Teens

It is definitely alarming that such a high percentage of students are pregnant in this school, be it expecting or had a child already. The school also gives a certain lunch discount to students who are pregnant.

I could not give much of my opinion regarding my own school life and sex education here in the U.S. as I have no experience schooling in this country before going to college. Even so, I could relate this issue very much to the schools in my country; there is also an alarming increase in students who are involved in sexual activity and getting pregnant. What is worse regarding this issue is as the number increases, so does the number of abortions and newborn babies being thrown into the trash or toilet as they are the 'love child'.

I absolutely support sex education in our young generation today. However, I strongly believe that our system in educating our children about sex does not come with the consequences of sex, be it bad or good. Our children should not only know about safe sex, but they should also know the consequences of getting a girl pregnant, or being pregnant, and how these could affect their lives greatly. We should also emphasize much more on STDs, and the risk of death. How could we decrease the number of pregnancies and death of our young children due to STDs if we are ENCOURAGING our children to have safe sex? They should be taught of the consequences greatly and not emphasize only on how to have safe sex.

In the video, I could observe that the public school is like any other average public schools. I might be mistaken, but there is a possibilty that most of the students in this school are African American. Based on history, African American are usually (not all) more economically distressed. Then again, NOT all African Americans are committing crimes, but they are more inclined to do so due to their economic distress and available options around them that allows them to get quick money. There are African American students who are so much more successful and smart than other races or ethnicity, but I am sure that growing up in a community with a high crime rate and pregnancy rate is difficult as they are more 'inclined' to take the other road; hence the invisible strings are tightening on them.

The same thing goes about sex and pregnancy. Even though girls in this school are aware of how many of their friends are pregnant due to 'unsafe' sex, these girls are still more inclined to be pregnant themselves as well due to the invisible string 'tightening' on them, no matter how hard they try to not get involved in unsafe sex. Yes, there might be girls that will be able to not get themselves pregnant, but the inclination to do so will always be there as long as the invisible string is attached to them. These girls who succeed are those who are able to take control of those invisible strings attached to them.

Other than that, one of the commenters had also mentioned about the discounted lunch policy that will be given to pregnant students. Though this may sound silly, but poorer students might just get themselves pregnant just to get a cheaper lunch. Therefore, the school should not be taking steps that actually ENCOURAGE the students to get themselves pregnant. The school should be giving classes to those students who are pregnant or support group, and not a cheaper lunch. The cheaper lunch, is another invisible string, that are attached to other girls who are not pregnant. They might consider to get pregnant (this string is tightening on them) as they will think that "I will get a cheaper lunch and get to eat more for less if I am pregnant!" Once again, not all girls in the school will get themselves pregnant, but the inclination to do so is, and will always be there.

Therefore, the students are definitely not completely 'free' to choose whether to get pregnant or not, and how to deal with it as long as these invisible strings are affecting them greatly.

Us vs. Angels

Allah SWT selesai menciptakan Jibrail as dengan bentuk yang cantik, dan Allah menciptakan pula baginya 600 sayap yang panjang , sayap itu antara timur dan barat (ada pendapat lain menyatakan 124, 000 sayap). Setelah itu Jibrail as memandang dirinya sendiri dan berkata:

"Wahai Tuhanku, adakah engkau menciptakan makhluk yang lebih baik daripada aku?."

Lalu Allah SWT berfirman yang bermaksud.. "Tidak"

Kemudian Jibrail AS berdiri serta solat dua rakaat kerana syukur kepada Allah SWT dan tiap-tiap rakaat itu lamanya 20,000 tahun.

Setelah selesai Jibrail as solat, maka Allah SWT berfirman yang bermaksud:

"Wahai Jibrail, ka! mu telah menyembah aku dengan ibadah yang bersungguh-sungguh, dan tidak ada seorang pun yang menyembah kepadaku seperti ibadat kamu, akan tetapi di akhir zaman nanti akan datang seorang nabi yang mulia yang paling aku cintai, namanya Muhammad.' Dia mempunyai umat yang lemah dan sentiasa berdosa, sekiranya mereka itu mengerjakan solat dua rakaat yang hanya sebentar sahaja, dan mereka dalam keadaan lupa serta serba kurang, fikiran mereka melayang bermacam-macam dan dosa mereka pun besar juga. Maka demi kemuliaannKu dan ketinggianKu, sesungguhnya solat mereka itu aku lebih sukai dari solatmu itu. Kerana mereka mengerjakan solat atas
perintahKu, sedangkan kamu mengerjakan solat bukan atas perintahKu."

Kemudian Jibrail as berkata: "Ya Tuhanku, apakah yang Engkau hadiahkan kepada mereka sebagai imbalan ibadat mereka?"

Lalu Allah berfirman yang bermak! sud. "Ya Jibrail, akan Aku berikan syurga
Ma'waa sebagai tempat tinggal..."

Kemudian Jibrail as meminta izin kepada Allah untuk melihat syura Ma'waa.
Setelah Jibrail as mendapat izin dari Allah SWT maka pergilah Jibrail as dengan mengembangkan sayapnya dan terbang, setiap dia mengembangkan dua sayapnya dia boleh menempuh jarak perjalanan 3000 tahun, terbangla malaikat jibrail as selama 300 tahun sehingga ia merasa letih dan lemah dan
akhirnya dia turun singgah berteduh di bawah bayangan sebuah pohon dan dia sujud kepada Allah SWT lalu ia berkata dalam sujud:

"Ya Tuhanku apakah sudah aku menempuh jarak perjalanan setengahnya, atau sepertiganya, atau seperempatnya? "

Kemudian Allah SWT berfirman yang bermaksud. "Wahai Jibrail, kalau kamu dapat terbang selama 3000 tahun dan meskipun aku memberikan kekuatan kepadamu seperti kekuatan yang engkau miliki, lalu kamu terbang seperti yang telah kamu lakukan, nescaya kamu tidak akan sampai kepada sepersepuluh dari beberapa perpuluhan yang telah kuberikan kepada umat Muhammad terhadap imbalan solat dua rakaat yang mereka kerjakan.... ."

Marilah sama2 kita fikirkan dan berusaha lakukan... Sesungguhnya Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan enam perkara iaitu :

* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan redha-Nya dalam taat.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan murka-Nya di dalam maksiat.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan nama-Nya yang Maha Agung di dalam Al-Quran.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan Lailatul Qadar di dalam bulan Ramadhan.
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan solat yang paling utama di dalam solat (yang lima waktu).
* Allah S.W.T telah menyembunyikan (tarikh terjadinya) hari kiamat di dalam
semua hari.

Semoga kita mendapat berkat daripada ilmu ini. Wallahualam

*Ingatlah yg walaupun solat kita tidak begitu sempurna, tetapi jgnlah bersedih kerana solat kita sgtlah disukai dan dinilai oleh Allah :) Jom berusaha untuk meningkatkn quality solat kita! :D*

SOC 001

Assalamualaikum! :)

Just a quick heads up to any readers out there about future posts that I will be posting in this blog :)

I am currently taking an introductory class to sociology; SOC 001. Part of this class includes responding to blog posts posted in the World in Conversation website. I find the blog posts by my lecturer and the TAs on the blog is very2 interesting! I will try to save my comments on those blogs and reblog them here.

I really liked that these blogs are indeed sensitive issues that not everyone would know or talk about daily. And to some extent, I know that some of these issues might be important on how we view life, how we view others, and basically, on how we think.

Feel free to browse through those blogs, but what I will copy and paste in my blog here are entirely my own comments on those blogs. Hence you do not have to take in on everything that I have commented :) But please do feel free to have a look on those blogs, and tell me what you think; what is your own comment on the issue? :)

I think I already posted one regarding the soldiers suicide once they get back from wars.

Look out for further posts! :)