How To Love?

Another inspiring video for those who are seeking love :) insya-Allah, it will be a beneficial video for you as it has been for me :)

Assalamualaikum :)

Love or Addiction?

This video has answered a lot of my questions on love; how to love for the sake of Allah, how to recognize if your love is for the sake of Allah or not, how Istikharah actually works in contrary to popular beliefs, etc etc :)

Insya-Allah, it will be a very beneficial for everyone out there! Including those who are single, still looking, married, divorced and the list goes on :)

Assalamualaikum :)

Opah

 

*Opah on the right, Tok on the left smiling happily :)*

 

He was a principal of a school in Johor back in the days. Also a teacher definitely sometime in the pass.

Every Raya we would always return to Johor, Serkat in particular to celebrate it with Opah and Omah. Also with other relatives as well, which not all could I actually recall their names and faces. There are just too many of them. Especially when you have grandparents who were teachers; they had many many students coming over, also the whole village were very close with each other. They at least knew who their neighbor was, and hence adding to the confusion XD

Oh and to add to that, most people usually call their grandmother 'Opah', while somehow my siblings and cousins all call our grandfather 'Opah' instead and our grandmother 'Omah'; which some thought I was talking about my grandmother when I used the word opah XD 

Well going back to Johor was usually only during special occasions like Raya or weddings; sometimes for sad events like funerals and or when someone was critically ill.

There was this once when Opah got really2 sick, and he was admitted to the hospital for I think at least a few days. Papa stayed back to take care of Opah over the nights at the hospital. Opah had high blood pressure, diabetes and also a weak heart. I think he had a heart attack which caused him to go into the hospital. Doctors had even told us that we should expect the worst. But Alhamdulillah, Opah miraculously survived and was well after a tough battle :')

My weak memory doesn't allow me to remember the details, but I certainly do remember bits of memories here and there of me and Opah.

I remembered that when I was very young, Opah was taking us siblings around the village with his motorcycle. My siblings and I took turns to ride with him, and when it was my turn I was so very nervous. Hugging my Opah's large back from behind, he drove off slowly with me on his bike. It was definitely one of the most thrilling and exciting ride of my young life, though short, but so memorable :) 

I also remember him occasionally bringing us to his small farm or what we might call as 'kebun' in his huge backyard. There were certainly a lot of trees as it is a forest right behind his house XD there were chickens, chicken eggs and certainly lots and lots of trees :D There was this once where there were newly hatched chicks, and Opah helped us out to hold the little chicks and they were so adorable!! and very warm too to my surprise :) 

Since I am a well behaved-child (yes perasan sekejap :P) I seldom get any scolding from Opah. But I do remember once that I was playing with some of my younger cousins and relatives and they were very very noisy and we got a scolding from Opah XD

It has been a while since the last time I managed to go back to Johor every since I came to the States. It's because Raya was always during my Fall semester classes, which I do not have a chance but to 'skip' going back to Malaysia, celebrating there with family and relatives instead for my education. Alhamdulillah, celebrating Raya here with friends was a very new and fun experience which I will cherish :) however, I certainly do miss celebrating back in Malaysia, with my family, with Johor-ians.

Since then, I was only able to get news of them from my parents. Opah was indeed getting weaker by the day and years even though he managed to get well from the last time he was admitted to the hospital. He was eating a lot of medicine, and he and Omah had to live with my auntie living in Johor for her to keep a close eye on them.

I did go back to Malaysia during my Freshman and Junior year over the summer. But I think I only visited Opah and Omah once during my Freshman year I can't remember for what event (or maybe before I came to the states). I wasn't able to visit them during my junior year because I was back to do an internship in Negeri Sembilan, which really left me only the weekends to spend my time with family and close friends.

Before heading back to the States for my Fall classes, papa asked me to just give Opah and Omah a call, just to let them know I was heading back to the States. I did so and had a nice chat with Opah and Omah. Opah was being cheerful as usual, wishing me all the best in my studies and encouraged me to do my best. He also expressed a little bit of sadness that I wasn't able to visit him during that holidays, and was hoping to be able to see me graduate. But he said something like "entah sempat ke tak ye dapat tengok Yani abiskan belajar..":whether if he could make it to see me graduate. All I could say at that time was (well knowing the optimistic-me) was "insya-Allah, sempat je Opah tengok Yani abis blaja nanti ya."

I usually call my family once a week to keep in touch with them, and one of the calls was when mama told me "We are about to go back to Serkat dear, Opah just passed away." and papa unfortunately was away from home for work, but was on his way back on the very next flight as soon as possible.

*in the mosque/surau*

Alhamdulillah I got to know that Opah was safely buried, and the day was raining lightly; insya-Allah, it will be cooler for him down there.

 

*Prayers recited after the burial*

I was definitely devastated that I wasn't able to visit Opah before I went back to the States last year; I missed my chance to see him before he passed. 

Oh God, this is a tough piece for me to write. Please excuse my tears for a moment.

Of course, I cried after receiving the news, reminiscing on how I should have visited Opah one last time over my last summer. But, after thinking for some time, I think that it might have been better for me to not be able to see him for one last time before I went back. I guess Allah knew that had I been able to see Opah before he passed, I might have cried much more than this. Alhamdulillah, there is always a blessing in disguise no matter how bad the situation may seem to be if you have faith in Him :)

To add to that, I would always say to my friends who have lost their loved ones that we shouldn't be so sad for our loved ones who had passed; we should actually feel a little bit happy for them. This is because their challenges and pain of the temporary world has finally ended, and they have already found peace in the next life. They are one step CLOSER to meeting Allah, to meeting Rasulullah S.A.W. compared to us, still struggling in this world. Insya-Allah, when the day comes, they will also ascend to heaven and be able to meet Allah and Rasulullah S.A.W. :) 

And insya-Allah, we will be able to meet them again, in HEAVEN :) so we gotta work hard to be qualified to enter His paradise :)

Death, is something we shouldn't be afraid of, but something we should be looking forward to :) 

The day that we are free from our worldly affairs finally, and the day that we are one step closer to Allah and Muhammad pbuh. And hey, we could also finally meet the angel Gabriel/Jibril too! :) Wallahu'alam; only Allah knows the mysteries of the afterlife :)

And my dear Opah has gained his freedom from this world.

Wan Shamsuri bin Wan Abidin, I pray that all your sins will be forgiven and you would be within those who are righteous, and the solehin, insya-Allah. Amin :) 

Already missing you,

-Your granddaughter :') <3

What is College for?

My daughter called me last night to celebrate her news. "I got the job!" she said. "I'm going to be decorating cupcakes!"

I cheered. My daughter earned an honors degree in Natural Resources from a major university this past May. This is the happiest I've heard her sound in months.

You think that you know where this blog post is going: oh, no, another parent bemoaning the fact that our nation's newly minted college graduates can't find decent jobs! And why wouldn't you think that? New books like Slouching Toward Adulthood: Observations from the Not-So-Empty Nest are rolling off the presses daily to explain the "shocking truth" behind the fact that 5.9 million people between the ages of 25 and 35 are now living with their parents.

But you would be wrong. This is a very different rant.

My daughter is the poster child for why college matters. She went to a decent suburban high school, finished in the top quarter of her class, played varsity sports. Attending a state university allowed her to continue expanding her intellectual and social horizons. She worked closely with researchers in Natural Resources, learned Spanish, studied and worked abroad, explored electives that enriched her perspective. She continually added to her resume, too, always building toward her post-graduation dream of working as a scientist.

She did everything right, and lo and behold, the system worked. She landed a job with a West Coast environmental engineering company that paid her more money than she had ever dreamed of making right out of college. Hurray!

Slowly, though, things unraveled. My daughter loved living near San Francisco, but even on her hefty salary, she could only afford an apartment in a dire section of Oakland, which led to her being caught in the middle of a mini gang shootout. (She has a nasty bullet wound on her car to prove it.) Meanwhile, her spiffy new job bored her, and her bosses were often negative, even mean-spirited.

For months, she stuck it out. Her student loans were about to kick in and this job paid double what any of her friends were making, plus benefits. As time passed, though, my sunny girl grew more despondent. Every day, she dragged herself into work. And, every day, things didn't get better.

She started looking for work. In California, the unemployment rate is dire -- 11.3 percent, compared to 8.6 percent nationwide as of November 2011. One of her job interviews for a coffee company required four different interviews, plus test taking. My daughter got the job and was thrilled, especially because the position includes health benefits. But the pay was abysmal: minimum wage.

Did she really want to leave her posh job for minimum wage? How could she -- a driven student, a hard worker, a young woman who had always set goals and reached them -- possibly justify making that leap?

There wasn't any rational reason for her to quit. But there was every emotional reason to do so.

"Life is too short to be miserable for money," I told her finally. "Just quit. Take the barista job and figure out something else while you're making lattes."

I can hear the gasps of horror from most parents out there. How could I advise my daughter to join the ranks of the marginally employed, after our family invested so much into her college degree?

Easily. College, you see, is not really about preparing you for the job market. It's about gaining the knowledge and skills you need to seize opportunities -- and that includes knowing when to walk away from something that makes you unhappy.

There's a lot of talk these days -- well, all days, I suppose -- about what good it is to get a liberal arts degree, what majors are most likely to lead to the best-paid and most stable careers, and the importance of building your resume while you're in school so that you have an edge when it's time to enter the almighty job race.

That's all true, mostly. Obviously, you have to eat. But maybe the goal of college shouldn't be so closely linked to employment. Actual life isn't that different from the game of Life, in the sense that there's a point where at the start we all have to choose the college path or the career path. You can earn the same money either way, and the same good (or bad) spins on the dial can send you into a tailspin of debt or misery: illness, accidents, divorce, tornadoes taking your house. College is no guarantee that you'll be rich, or even middle class. In fact, there are some arguments that suggest technical training is a better bang for the buck.

(A handy example: my younger brother never finished his four-year college degree, yet he makes ten times more money than my other brother and I do, and we both have master's degrees.)

College, if you're lucky enough to get there, is really about figuring out your friends and your values as well as your dreams for the future. Nobody -- well, almost nobody -- finds a top-paying position right out of college. Most of us have to pay our dues and climb a dozen different career ladders before we find one that has rungs we can reach -- and a place at the top with a view that suits us. If you land that seemingly "perfect" job with a salary worth boasting about, but then you hate it and are afraid to quit, your wings are clipped. That "safe" job will kill your creativity, drown your enthusiasm, and smother your ability to get up in the morning with a bounce in your step. Why stay?

The answer most people give is "fear." We've all heard the unemployment statistics.

But let's turn those around. The unemployment rate is high -- even upwards of 12 percent in certain U.S. cities. But that means that 88 percent of people have jobs. Can they make a living on their wages? That depends on how you define a "living." Maybe you don't need a new car, or a car at all. Maybe you can find a seasonal rental or roommates.

Jobs are like college courses. Each one you take teaches you a set of new skills and offers a fresh perspective on life. They aren't meant to be permanent, most of them. They are only stepping stones.

In my daughter's case, the barista job led her to have enough free hours to do what she really loves: draw comics. She's thinking about publishing her comics online. In her free time, she also happened to stop by a new gourmet cupcake store, where she chatted with the enthusiastic owner and was hired to decorate cupcakes and work the counter. Again, it's not much money, but combined with the coffee place, it's enough for her to scrape by. Meanwhile, she has moved out of Oakland and into an affordable room in a house near the beach in Santa Cruz. She's happily experimenting with cupcake flavors and thinking about helping this new business owner with social media and marketing. She is learning something new every day. Life is good.

When you quit a job, any job, it can be terrifying. But it's also exhilarating, as you open yourself to new possibilities. So go ahead. Take the risk. Quit that job, if you hate it. You might surprise yourself.

Holly Robinson: Why I told my daughter to quit her job

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/blackberry/p.html?id=1211880

*I completely admire this lady who understands her daughter, and even encourages her to take such a courageous step to quit her high-paying and stable job. Yes, life is too short to be just going after the money.

This is the main reason why I decided not to take up masters in my major 3 years ago. I realized that this is not what I want my life to be about. Insya-Allah, I am going to do what He has made me to do :) What I am good at, what I am passionate about, and make a change in this world. Insya-Allah! :)

I was also fortunate enough to try working in a lab environment last summer. Everyone there were great people and they were very kind and helpful to teach me new knowledge :) but in the end, I do find myself not 'looking forward' to go to the lab everyday; I realized I do not want to do this for the rest of my life. I am meant to do something more meaningful than this, insya-Allah :)

*though my actions may be little, but I know even the smallest things matters, and could possibly one day, change the world :)*

Dear Farid

*Farid*

My friends and I were on a road-trip around California for the winter break. One of the stops that we went to was Long Beach in San Diego, and it was certainly beautiful and breath-taking, with the sea breeze and warm weather. :)

There were lots of yachts, as well as families having fun at the beach and enjoying the sea. My friends and I decided to try the funnel cake with ice cream which really looked delicious!

We then looked for a table nearby to sit and eat our funnel cake with ice cream :)

As we sat down and started to eat the funnel cake, an elderly man around his 40's or 50's that was sitting right next to our table suddenly asked us where we are from. We said Malaysia, and he said he's from Pakistan.

He then asked us whether we were muslims (because all five of us were wearing hijabs) and we said yes, and then he said he's a Christian convert, and he was a Muslim.

When he said that it wasn't much of a surprise to me, but then he continued by asking us 'Are you mad?'

I looked at my friends and they looked at me back. I think we were thinking of the same thing; of course we feel sad that he had converted out of Islam, but I don't think we have the right to be absolutely mad and angry at him for converting, because we don't know his full story aite?

And then we continued to eat our ice cream and funnel cake, until one of my friends asked us in Malay whether she could ask the old man why he converted. We agreed that the man seemed friendly, so maybe he wouldn't mind our question.

So my friend asked him why he converted, and he said he will tell us why, and started to have teary eyes.

He told us his story while having tears coming down his eyes, and a tissue in his hand to help wipe away the tears.

He said that he once worked for the airlines, and he was also a writer. But he said he became homeless at one time, and he went knocking on masjids and mosques to ask for help; at least for a roof to sleep under.

But alas, no masjids or mosques opened their doors for him. He said that he went to more than 20 masjids, but no one accepted him or offered him help. He then turned to a church, and they helped him out. The priests even gave him a key to the church for him to be able to live there as he wish.

That's why he converted to Christianity.

We didn't know exactly how or why he became homeless, or how he came to the States from Pakistan, but we certainly knew that that period when he became homeless was certainly a very hard time for him as he was literally dropping tears to the floor when he told us his story.

He then moved on to telling us that he did umrah at Mekah many times, but felt empty. He also started to question us on why Jesus, Moses, Muhammad and all the prophets were mainly from the Middle East. Why weren't there any prophets from Asia or from the West?

We know that there are many other prophets from all over the world, but not everyone is recorded in history and the prominent ones are mostly from the Middle East.

But at that very moment, my friends started to feel uncomfortable and decided to leave the table. My friends bid farewell and we started to leave the elderly man.

But as my friends left, I decided to stay just for a little bit to talk to him.

I told him that for what have happened to him, for when the people of the masjid and mosques turned him down and did not help him in his time of need, I said I am very sorry. The people of the masjid and mosques should have helped him when he needed help, and they shouldn't have turned him down.

That's not what Islam is about! Nor is it in any religion in my opinion.

I told him that Muslims, like myself, are not perfect, but Islam is :) I then apologized to him again for what they have done.

I then said that if he was my father, then I would have hugged him.

It completely breaks my heart to see him shed tears like that, especially when you hit rock-bottom, and you desperately need a place to just spend the night, or you will be in the streets at night :(

His eyes turned red and he shed a little more tears when he heard me say that. He then asked how old I was, and I told him that I was 21. He said his twin daughters are 24, and they still call him everyday to keep in touch :)

He then offered me to take his number. I hesitated for a while because if I were to take his number, he would definitely expect me to call him right? And I think his intention was so that just in case I need any help, I could just ask him for it and he will definitely be there. But I declined his offer kindly, and he asked repeatedly are you sure? (he was really more concerned and worried about me, as he was asking like will you be alright?)

I said I will be alright, and asked him right back will he be alright? And he said yes he'll be alright, and we bid farewell.

During his talk with me and my friends together, he did mention that even though the priests at the church preached to him, he still did not accepted 100% what they say. He even said that he might revert back to Islam, but he might not too. He also mentioned that it was very recent that he converted; in 2009.

Insya-Allah, he will revert back to Islam one day. It is indeed a very huge challenge given by Allah that he is facing right now; imagine if you suddenly became homeless, with no money, no family or friends, and you walked up to masjids and mosques to ask for help and they turned you down. Most normal human beings will do what he did; convert into the religion of the people that actually offered him help.

I think most of the masjids and mosques that turned him down that he was referring to was mostly small prayer rooms (but they do call them masjids or mosques), which are only open during prayer times (maybe like 30 minutes for prayer, then it'll be closed again. It's not open 24 hours for safety reasons). Only bigger masjids and mosques are open 24 hours. It is indeed such a difficult challenge that Allah has given this dear old man.

I managed to get the old man's name; Farid :)

I hope that Farid will be able to forgive those who turned him down at the doors of His house. Indeed, humans including muslims are not perfect. But Islam is :)

Only those with strong faith to Him, with a very strong heart, could be able to endure His great challenges.

None of us could anticipate or know what will happen to us in the future. But whenever we do, remember that Allah gives us challenges because He loves us. It might be hard for us to see it that way, but there is always a blessing in disguise.

So keep your heads held high, don't give up on Him, and know that when all else disappoints, Allah is and will always be there for you :)

You might say that He is not there when you needed Him most, but He is always there; it's actually up to you to be able to see Him there or close your eyes and not feel His presence.

It's a challenge, I know. It is not as simple as it seems. But, have faith in Him :) And you will notice His presence. Insya-Allah :)

And I hope you will too one day, Farid :)

Assalamualaikum :) <3

Country Invasion

Q: Does America have any rights to invade another country?

Any country in this world definitely do not have the right to invade any other countries without a legitimate reason. And oil is not one of it. I would actually give my support to America if America has the intention to buy the oil from other countries, or even collaborate or make a deal for trade of oil, and not go to war for it. It is just history repeating itself; wasn't the wars in the past were simply based on greed? Greedy of wealth, land, oil, women, pride or even just for revenge.

I think the only time a country should invade another country if the people of the other country is suffering under their current rulers and it is obvious to claim so; hence invading that country is the only way to save the suffering people. A country should also go to war if they are indeed in danger and they need to protect their country and people. The war should only be between the warriors and soldiers sent by the respective countries; civilians, children, the elderly and women who are not participating in the war are not to be injured as they are not within the war zones. This is the war etiquette that should be followed, as how the Qur'an has prescribe it to be.

Even though it is true that Qur'an has verses talking about war, those who do not read the whole verse or the chapters that do talk about wars will definitely misinterpret the Qur'an as 'promoting' wars; what is prescribed in the Qur'an about wars is actually the many many rules and etiquettes of war, hence making war as a last resort to solve disputes.

Once a war is over, there should not be any further killing on the losing end, just as how our Prophet and many other great leaders had shown mercy and kindness to the civilians even though they were of the losing side. I am not saying this to convince anyone that Islam has the best war etiquette; there indeed has been Muslims that have misused the name of the religion to commit terrorism and even horrible crusades in the past.

*9/11 is an example of people misusing the name of Islam for world peace*

But if you were to really study the Qur'an verses on war and how Prophet Muhammad conducted and led the wars based on the true verses of Qur'an, you will be surprised. Study the history of Islam in their early days, study how Prophet Muhammad started his journey on bringing Islam to the world.

The internet is definitely a great place you can find lots of data from both views of the the war verses in the Qur'an. Hence be prepared to evaluate which sources is the one we will trust and believe to be true.

*Misunderstanding could lead to more misunderstanding*

I might seem to be regressing from the main question of this vlog, but I truly believe that if one were to really follow and practice the war etiquettes based on the Qur'an, these issue of countries invading other countries for resources, based on greed, causing death of hundreds and thousands of innocent lives,.. Might finally come to an end. God willing.

"Fight in the cause of God those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for God loves not transgressors. And slay them wherever you catch them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out; for tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter... But if they cease, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful... If they cease, let there be no hostility except to those who practice oppression" (2:190-193).

PennState Crisis: Lessons?

When I first heard about the crisis, it was when the issue was just started to rise and Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier (President of Pennstate) was still a part of Pennstate alumni. At the beginning, I only heard about Pennstate facing a crisis. Later on I soon heard that it was something about a sex scandal. Truthfully, I was not very concern about the issue as we always hear about sex scandals and affairs in the news. It is true what Sam has said in class; victims are often silenced and will never speak out. But we do know that sexual abuse and assaults are common. Little did I know that it was such a huge deal for PENNSTATE when two most respective idols of Pennstate were involved.

*Joe Paterno (JoePa), the head coach of Pennstate's football team for 46 years.*

When I started to hear that JoePa's job was on the line, the first question that popped in my mind was 'Was he the one who did it?' Soon to find out that JoePa wasn't, really left me feeling that the whole news coverage on JoePa much more instead of the real offender, is really absurd and ridiculous. Finding out later that the university board of trustees had fired JoePa and the president of Pennstate really set an uproar across pennstate students.

*Graham Spanier, President of Pennstate before the crisis.*

The riot then quickly followed. The Candle Vigil was for Pennstate to redeem itself in a way and to show support of the victims of sexual abuse. We also managed to witness a very mature Pennstate when Pennstate lost it's last football game to Nebraska, but nobody was going nuts downtown like they would use to.

Being from thinking that this is just another sexual abuse case into thinking that Pennstate's reputation might be tarnished forever and into this is how it feels to be labeled and stereotyped as how muslims and middle eastern students faced day to day, is quite an amazing journey within a short amount of time.

The first thing that I've learn from this is how ridiculously everything is just about politics, well in my opinion that is. I do not see the reason why we need to bring in the higher authorities that actually did try to do something about the matter when they knew about it, while leaving the real culprit being the 'sub-topic' of the matter. Why do I see more people condemning PENNSTATE as a whole, condemning JoePa and the president compared to the culprit if he is indeed guilty of the charges? Very interesting display of politics, I must say.

I was only aware that this scandal could indeed harm Pennstate's reputation and the students when we discussed the issue in class. And also when the media started to ‘attack’ Pennstate. To add to that, class last week also made me aware of another thing: 'American' Pennstate students are actually experiencing what muslims and middle easterns had been experiencing over the years since 9/11. Despite being a muslim myself, I have only been in this country for 3 years for studies, hence I have yet to really experience discrimination if I were to plan to migrate and live in the U.S. for good. Plus, I am indeed studying in State College; thankfully, the community here does not discriminate as much as incidences that I have heard of in different states of the country.

Come to Pennstate, and you will know how friendly and peaceful this community is. Even cars will stop for pedestrians who might not be crossing the road at the right time or right place! Try crossing the road in New York or back at home in Malaysia. You are certainly putting your life on the line if you were to do just that.

Going back to what Sam said in the 2nd class to discuss about the crisis, I could not agree more with what he concluded in class. We should not just ‘Deal with it’, or face the problems that we are facing in life, but GROW from it.

Remember the sweet memories, but don’t forget the bad memories either; learn from them so that we may move on to look for new sweet memories :)

Hang in there Pennstate.

We are.... PennState!