Thursday, March 17, 2011
Sociology of Love
This song is definitely funny, but at the same time, some might think this guy is a horrible husband. Even so, like what Sam has said in class, this guy brilliantly incorporated all the sociology of love.
From class, we have learned that we are living our lives heavily influenced by these many many invisible strings; our culture, our religion, our family and our environment. Love is not an exception to these invisible strings.
We might think that we are free to choose our life partner, or that when we see a certain someone and we simply know that he or she is 'the one'. However, it is not entirely due to fate that makes our heart beats faster when we see him or her. It is actually the invisible strings tightening upon us, that is making us attracted more to certain people than others.
We are more inclined to homogamy; where we are inclined to be married to people who are very similar to us. It is true that opposite attracts, but it is logical to think that more people on average get married to people who share things in common; religion, values and beliefs.
Due to this, we will automatically be more attracted to people who we are familiar with, and people who we share common grounds or interests. Take our parents for example, as the people who we grew up with and has a huge influence in our life. More people are inclined to marry the person who shares similar traits with their mother (if they are male) or their father (if they are female). Brothers and sisters would have a higher probability to marry someone that has similar characteristics to their siblings as well. These are all the 'invisible strings' that are at work even when, believe it or not, we 'fall' in love.
It is sad to know that the 'invisible strings' could sometimes really influence us heavily without us noticing it. Sam has mentioned in class that even though some children might have abusive fathers or mothers, and they would even swear that they would never marry someone like their parent, the 'invisible strings' would still be at work: these children will be MORE INCLINED and ATTRACTED to people who are indeed abusive!
I couldn't believe what he was saying at the beginning, but when Sam asked whether we knew anyone who has abusive boyfriends, and whether that person is still staying with that abusive partner despite being beaten up so many times, people did raise their hands in class. Knowing an abusive person myself, made me sad about this fact.
Even so, learning this part of sociology actually strengthens my faith in my religion.
Based on this song that says that there are many other women that would be equal or better than the singer's wife, it actually strengthens the validity of this verse of the Qur'an (24:26):
"Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision."
Homogamy and the invisible strings fits into this verse; we will attract people who are similar to us (good for good, bad for bad), and we are also more inclined to be attracted to people who have the same characteristics as the people who have a huge influence in our bad.
It is up to us to be able to pull back these strings, and to be able to recognize which string we should cut off (i.e. the abusive partners).
Hence, the verse perfectly brings the message in this song and in the sociology of love; there is not only ONE person in this world that could be our potential life partner.
'If I didn't have you, someone else will surely do.'
And Allah knows best. ;) <3